I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
