Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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