I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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