youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
