just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Randomize