two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
