guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
