First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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