i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
do herpes really smell.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
