You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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