just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
