Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
