I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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