I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize