Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Randomize
