Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
