just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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