everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
