help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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