Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs

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(304): View more from West Virginia

all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over

Fav 27 5383 1101
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(315): View more from New York

We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same

Fav 26 8280 1168
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(305): View more from Florida

once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away

Fav 15 1305 4345
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(201): View more from New Jersey

A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.

Fav 4 3816 1488
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(360): View more from Washington

Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.

Fav 15 5739 1907
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(347): View more from New York

I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.

Fav 3 1139 2310
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(425): View more from Washington

My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small

Fav 5 1061 485
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(432): View more from Texas

My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age

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