You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
3 2 1 whiskey
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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