Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
