Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
