Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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