Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm passing your future prison.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize