did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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