you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
