dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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