The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
