I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize