i jhust puked up my retainher.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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