My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
