belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
one might say we're banned from that church
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
