Cold hands, warm shart.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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