i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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