Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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