everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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