I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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