I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
