worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i dont even know how to be here
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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