Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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