i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
