How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
