all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
