just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
