...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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