i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
