Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize