I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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