I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I will be naked everywhere
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
