i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
