My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
