C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
