look no pants
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
