I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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