Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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