Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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