All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
