the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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