Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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