Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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